Goodbye to You
by claret101
Summary: Songfic. Michelle Branch, Goodbye to You. MWPP. RemusxSirius. Remus has to deal with Sirius' betrayal after the incident with Snape at the Shack.


**Goodbye to You**

Remus would never forget that moment, waking up in the hospital wing, every inch of his body screaming in pain. Opening his eyes and slowly focusing, seeing James' tear-stained face.

"Are you ok?" He'd asked, his voice shaking.

Remus wasn't - would never be again - but he couldn't make small talk, not when he knew that something was terribly wrong. Professors Dumbledore and McGonagall were stood a little way from the bed, watching him with grave expressions.

"What happened?" He asked Dumbledore frantically. "Please, I don't remember."

Dumbledore glanced at James, who was crying again, then sighed heavily. "Remus, I'm afraid there was an… incident… last night. Severus Snape came to the Shack after you had transformed."

"Is he…?" Remus couldn't finish the sentence, or the thought. If he had hurt Snape, if Snape was…

"Mr Snape was unharmed, do not concern yourself." Dumbledore said swiftly. "I have also forbidden him to tell anyone what he saw."

Remus was confused. Everything was alright, he hadn't hurt Snape, Snape wouldn't tell anyone… but why did he still feel such a painful feeling of dread?

"Remus." James said softly. "There's something you have to know. Remus, I'm so sorry. Snape found out how to get past the Willow. Remus, he was told by… by…"

"Sirius." Remus whispered and his world fell apart.

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_And all the things I believed in_

_I just want to get it over with_

_Tears form behind my eyes, but I do not cry_

_Counting the days that pass me by_

"Sirius, please!" Remus begged. "We've been through this!"

"Then we'll go through it again!" Sirius snapped. "We'll go through it until you listen to me and believe me and _forgive_ me!"

"I do." Remus said, very softly.

"Then why?" Sirius yelled. "Why won't you let me come near you? Why won't you let me touch you or hold you or kiss you? Why can't things be like they were? Merlin, Remus, I'm SORRY! How many times can I say it?"

_I've been searching deep down in my soul_

_Words that I'm hearing are starting to get old_

_Feels like I'm starting all over again_

_The last three years were just pretend_

"You don't need to say it anymore, Sirius! I forgive you, I honestly do! But that doesn't mean that things can just go back to how they were! You betrayed me!" Remus shouted, losing his temper.

"AND I'M SORRY!" Sirius yelled.

"YOU BROKE MY HEART!" Remus burst out, unable to hold in his grief any longer. For months he had tried to stay calm, to be friends with Sirius again, but Sirius wouldn't let go of what they had had and it was finally too much. "You hurt me more than anyone else ever could have! You used me! You treated me the same way everyone else does - a _dangerous creature_! Your little pet werewolf you can use to do your dirty work! How could you ever think we could be lovers again?"

_And I said goodbye to you_

_Goodbye to everything that I knew_

_You were the one I loved_

_The one thing that I tried to hold onto_

"So that's it?" Sirius asked hollowly. He was very quiet now, broken down by the onslaught of Remus' words. "You just don't feel anything for me anymore?"

_And I still get lost in your eyes_

_And it seems that I can't live a day without you_

_Closing my eyes, you chase my thoughts away_

_To a place where I am blinded by the light_

_But it's not right_

Remus hesitated. He wanted Sirius to know that it was over - properly, truly over forever, but even now, he couldn't lie to him. Sirius saw his hesitation.

"You still love me!" He accused angrily. "You're just doing this to punish me!"

"Of course I'm not!" Remus cried. He took a deep breath, forcing himself to talk calmly. "I love you, Sirius. I always will. But I can't be with you."

_Goodbye to you _

_Goodbye to everything that I knew_

_You were the one I loved_

_The one thing that I tried to hold onto_

"Remus." Sirius whispered. "You're all I have."

"I know." Remus breathed. Sirius stood up and walked over to him, backing Remus against the wall, pressing against him.

"I love you." Sirius whispered, their breath mingling from the closeness of their faces. He leaned in and, for a moment, their lips touched, until Remus pushed him away.

"It's over." Remus said. There was a finality to his voice that they both heard.

_And it hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time_

_I want what's yours and I want what's mine_

_I want you, but I'm not giving in this time_

_Goodbye to you_

_Goodbye to everything that I knew_

_You were the one I loved_

_The one thing that I tried to hold onto_

_Goodbye to you_

_Goodbye to everything I thought I knew_

_You were the one I loved_

_The one thing that I tried to hold onto_

_The one thing that I tried to hold onto_

"I'll be here, Remus, if you ever change your mind." Sirius said, no longer pleading, but accepting.

_And when the stars fall I will lie awake_

_You're my shooting star_

"Goodbye, Sirius." Remus whispered and, summoning all his strength, he turned his back and walked away, leaving Sirius standing alone in an empty room.

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Reviews appreciated.


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